Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Introducing the Republican Playhouse in “Teleprompter”

Mike: Hi, Jenny! Say, this teleprompter Obama thing is pretty funny, isn’t it? it’s not just funny, it’s wet your pants funny, right?

Jenny: That’s right Mike! I mean, the guy has a 60+% approval rating. He’s constantly shitting in our Republican soup by proving time and again that the world as we knew it was wrong and our leaders have no ideas to combat, or defend, this affront to our way of life. Confidence is low, isn’t it Mike?

Mike: Sure is! But you know, when you’re down like that, and you need a boost of confidence, then do what the high school kids do, tease him until he moves away!

Jenny: But Mike, he just won the election, and he just moved in, which means we’re stuck with him for three years and three-hundred and one days.

Mike: Ugh. Ok, fine, he won’t move, but we sure can make him feel stupid! So come on everybody! Let’s attack him at the source of his power: His Teleprompter!

Both: Yeah!!!

Jenny: See, Samson was nothing without his hair and, alas, Obama is nothing without his teleprompter. You know it’s true. I mean, it’s on Fox News as well as Politico and David Gregory said something about it on NBC!

Mike: (jumping around) It’s true, it’s true, he can’t speak without his teleprompter!!! He’s so stupid, so dumb!!! Ha Ha Ha! I bet you feel better already, don’t you Jenny?

Jenny: Hey, I got an idea, let’s settle in and watch the train wreck that is going to be this press conference.

Mike: Yeah! Let’s watch him squirm!

(they sit down and turn on Fox News)

Mike: See, I told you. Right off the bat, he’s reading. Told you!

Jenny: He sucks! Ok, here’s the first question.

Mike: Wait for it, stammer starts now…any second now…any second. Ok, what’s going on here. He’s maintaining eye contact and giving a clear answer! What’s going on?!? No, this can’t be!!! This can’t be!!!

Jenny: Mike, you said…

Mike: I didn’t say shit! Oh this guy…oh, I’m so mad! I’m so freaking mad!!!

See kids, the lesson learned here is that the teleprompter is not his main source of power. To paraphrase Ice-T, his lethal weapon is his mind!

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