Sunday, April 19, 2009

If Rick Perry Keeps Acting Like Domino’s Employees then Public Firing Inevitable

If you really hate your job and you want to be remembered as an asshole, get fired.  In order to be fired, you must be an asshole.  Regular, hard working folks don’t get fired.  If they don’t like their current job, they go out and get a new one.  I generally believe that most people aren’t assholes and would find getting fired difficult and embarrassing.

Some of you may be thinking “Hey, I’m an asshole and I think it would be pretty easy to get fired.”  You would be right!  Look no further than this clip of two Domino’s employees snotting and16dominos.span farting on the ingredients of a meal that will be delivered to an unsuspecting customer.  We’ve all heard horror stories of fast food employees tampering with food.  These Domino’s employees were spectacular assholes, taking it all the way to You Tube.  They must really hate their jobs!  Sure enough, they got fired.

Rick Perry As for public officials, Texas Governor Rick Perry seems to be doing all the things necessary to insure he gets fired come next election day.  He was a recent Jerk Store favorite for rejecting stimulus funds targeted for unemployed Texans.  He said that he wasn’t going to burden Texas businesses with the new taxes.  The taxes would be necessary because a benefit hole would be created after the stimulus funds were gone.  He failed to mention, or failed to understand, that businesses would be taxed regardless.  Why?  Since the first of the year, Texas, like the rest of the country, has seen unusually high unemployment numbers.  This new stress on the benefit pool means that businesses are left to pick up the difference.  The irony is that the stimulus money would delay this burden.  In spite of this fact, Gov. Perry thought it more prudent to stick to his political ideology and pass on the funds.  Fortunately for the people of Texas, their Senate has passed a bipartisan bill accepting the funds.  Perry, in his quest to return to the private sector, could still veto.

This series of events is nothing compared to what happened after a Texas tea bag rally on Wednesday: 

An animated Perry told the crowd at Austin City Hall -- one of three tea parties he was attending across the state -- that officials in Washington have abandoned the country's founding principles of limited government. He said the federal government is strangling Americans with taxation, spending and debt.

Perry called his supporters patriots. Later, answering news reporters' questions, Perry suggested Texans might at some point get so fed up they would want to secede from the union, though he said he sees no reason why Texas should do that.

"There's a lot of different scenarios," Perry said. "We've got a great union. There's absolutely no reason to dissolve it. But if Washington continues to thumb their nose at the American people, you know, who knows what might come out of that. But Texas is a very unique place, and we're a pretty independent lot to boot."

Maybe he got caught in the tea bag “mob mentality.”  The crowd was letting him know they wanted to secede, because they were chanting “Secede!  Secede!”  Maybe he got swept up in the moment.  Nope

On Thursday, Perry called potential secession a "side issue of Texas history. ... We are very proud of our Texas history; people discuss and debate the issues of can we break ourselves into five states, can we secede, a lot of interesting things that I'm sure Oklahoma and Pennsylvania would love to be able to say about their states, but the fact is, they can't because they're not Texas."

In short, “[a] Perry spokeswoman said Perry believes Texas could secede if it wanted.” 

Knock yourself out Governor Rick Perry.  Go get Ted Nugent and Chuck Norris and walk Texas right out of the Union.  Democrats would be very happy, as would tax payers because they wouldn’t have to pay for the Texas border in the Mexican drug war.  I suppose the Motor City Madman would patrol the border.  Have at geniuses.

But here’s the ultimate political rub.  31% of Texans polled say Texas could secede if they wanted to and only 17% would vote for secession if it appeared on a ballot.  75% of Texans would vote to remain in the Union.  So, by talking about secession, he’s playing to less than a third of Texas’ population.  I know Texans like all that big dick talk about how nobody tells Texas what to do, but somebody should tell Rick that he can’t win an election with 31%.

I’m of the opinion that unless the White House is a goal, it’s probably a good idea to be a low key Governor who concentrates on their respective state.  I know the names, Bobby Jindal, Sarah Palin, Mark Sanford, and Rick Perry because they’ve all been mentioned as possible presidential candidates in 2012 and they’ve all been giant dicks.  Bobby Jindal probably recognizes the politics of the thing better than the rest because he recently came out against Dick Cheney’s controversial comments against Obama’s patriotism.  What Jindal appears to understand, and what Perry doesn’t, is that they can’t win an election by pandering to the “Obama as Hitler” sign carriers.

Rick Perry is getting filmed snotting and farting on a policy pizza that he intends to feed to the common sense, rational thinking people of Texas.  I can only conclude that he really hates his job because he’s not doing or saying anything that would indicate he wants it back.  Plus, he’s obviously an asshole because decent public servants don’t leave the unemployed hanging or talk shit about leaving the Union.  Therefore, I am fully expecting an epic public firing come next election.

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