Monday, August 17, 2009

Congratulations, Town Hall Protester! You Win!

What a weekend for health care reform! First, it appears that the whole “Death Panel” scare business worked and our gutless representatives are talking about taking it off the table. Remember, this “death panel” was to originally pay for a consultation with your doctor to discuss your end-of-life wishes. You know, like in the event you can’t decide for yourself anymore and would rather make things easier for your family, unlike Terry Schiavo. Yeah, the Government was going to pay for that consultation. On top of that, the Administration is starting to flake on the Public Option! It appears that all the screaming coming from the spoiled brat section of the idiot right is working. By folding on these key points, our country is rewarding bad behavior. They’re reinforcing the fact that you can get anything you want by throwing a tantrum.

Alright, crybabies, you win. Like a parent with a three-year-old who’s throwing a tantrum because I won’t let him play with his toys, I’m going to give you, the town hall reform protester, what you want. I’m done. I can’t take the noise anymore. You can have it. You can have all of it. No health care reform. No new energy policy. Hell, let’s throw in Social Security too. No more Government intervention in anything. Let’s privatize the military, schools, police and fire. Everything will be privately owned. You have won. Just sit on your wealth while the world falls apart around you. That’s what you want, isn’t it? You don’t want to pay taxes, right? You don’t want corporate regulation, right? Have it. Have it all. You want a selfish, fend for yourself society, you got it.

But here’s the difference…I’m young and you’re not. I’ve got time to stockpile and prepare for freedom beyond my wildest dreams. You don’t.

It’ll be sweet because I’ll live in a super-secure, gated community that’ll keep the riffraff out. It’ll have huge, thick walls topped with barbed wire so those poor souls on the outside can’t get in. 24 hour security, known as the U.S. Army, will man the watch towers positioned at each corner, protecting the perimeter with the latest in high-powered weaponry. The best part is that I won’t know the starving masses are being gunned down thanks to advanced silencer technology. Brilliant!

I’ll have a private road that only I, and those that can afford it, use. The road will be equipped with high walls full of advertisements. This provides two advantages. First, I won’t be able to see the poor, wretched scum on the other side. Second, the advertisements will remind me just how good I have it. I feel better about myself already.

Of course, I will be fit as a fiddle as I will have the best health care money can buy. My hospital will shine like a diamond and will have state-of-the-art care. My America has the best health care system in the world! Those on the outside, not so much. Truth be told, they won’t live very long anyway, with the air quality being what it is. Corporations must make a profit, right? Air quality be damned! It doesn’t matter to me because I will be able to afford a gas mask! Ha!

The outside world is irrelevant thanks to the many walls in my life. The media will reinforce the fact that every day is a sunny day, unless of course there’s rain. In which case, people with sense (and dollars, he he) make very sure that we do not go outside. Don’t want to get rain sores, you know? Gosh. I would hope never to see some poor souls with rain sores. That would be so ghastly! Yuck!

Now, because I can afford the American dream, my children will attend the finest schools and be able to slide into jobs that allow them to continue to achieve the lifestyle they’ve come to expect. Everybody else will be stuck with underfunded public schools, which will be great. Let’s face it, the dumber they are, the less competition for me. Don’t want to be knocked off my high horse by a peasant, now do I? (oh, wait, we have this now.)

And while all this is going on, while I live high on my fend-for-myself hog, you, the town hall reform protester, who has everything they’ve fought so hard for, no Government intervention of any kind, will be dying a slow, painful death because you will not be able to afford the care and medications you will need. Your kids will be too busy complaining about how rotten everything is to care about you and they’ll be too stupid to do anything about it. After all, they’re so very easily distracted by celebrity news and, let’s face it, facts tend to be boring. You will be a sad, lonely, shell of the person you once were, lying in pain on the sofa. Forget about getting to a hospital. Outside hospitals are awful and the road to them is barely useable. You might be lucky enough to have a roof over your head, but there won’t be anything inside as the night gangs have stripped your home bare. Sorry to say, but those night gangs pretty much do what they want since the outside can’t afford security.

You can cry about it all you want, but nobody cares. It’s me first, remember? You obviously didn’t do what you were supposed to. You should have taken care of your business, otherwise, you wouldn’t be living like this, you bum. Don’t look to me for a handout! It’s what you wanted, remember?

So fight on, town hall protester! Kill every reform possible! Do everything you can to insure that nothing changes in this country! I’ll be ready and guarantee that I’ll forget about you when I’m safe and secure in my heavily fortified subdivision.

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