Thursday, February 18, 2010

Want More Proof of how Corporate America is Ruining Everything? Watch the Olympics

I love the Olympics. Every other year, for two weeks, the world comes together to compete in peace. It is a celebration of youth, life, and humanity. In a world full of problems, the Olympics is one of the bright spots.

Truth be told, I haven’t been watching much. Mostly here and there when I had a second to catch it. On my way home last night, I was listening to NPR and they were spoiling the day’s results. They mention that Lindsey Vonn won the women’s downhill. Sweet! I love races and I love to watch people fly down a mountain. It also doesn’t hurt that an American won the gold. So, I tune into NBC at 8 pm Eastern, and find out that the evenings schedule is action packed. In addition to the skiing, there will also be speed skating, both short track and the 1500 meters, and men’s snowboard half-pipe. Done! I’m in!

NBC starts the night with short track qualifiers. Two quick races and commercial. They come back with the 1500 meter speed skating. A race is run, followed by some replays and analysis, followed by a commercial. And we’re back, with another race, followed by analysis, followed by commercial. Do you see a pattern forming?

Understand, these races were just over a minute long. Now, sometimes, there would be two races in between commercials, but the overall perception was that for every four minutes of Olympics, there were four minutes of commercials. I want to stress the word “perception.” I wasn’t sitting there with a stop watch, timing these things out, and maybe I should. But the fact is, NBC was going to a commercial every single chance they could all night long! It was impossible to get into any event because I was being sold something after every single race!

Look, I understand that the Olympics is supposedly a ratings giant, and NBC wants to make the most money they can, therefore, they open up more spots, which advertisers gladly gobble up because the more chances they have to peddle their wears, the better. I get it.

But they need to understand that I’m not going to watch the Olympics because they’ve simply made them unwatchable. For me, it’s next to impossible to get into whatever Olympic spirit because there is no Olympic spirit left. NBC’s desperation to make their fuck terrible network some money, along with AT&T’s desire to make me believe that their fuck awful network is good, McDonald’s desire to make me believe that Olympic athletes actually eat their god-awful shit, etc., etc., has killed it.

Therefore, it breaks my heart to announce that this set of eyeballs is boycotting the remainder of the 2010 Vancouver Winter Games. NBC, you may get your massive ratings, but those ratings will not include me!